Time Machine

My thought on Time Machine:

This is purely my thought....There's no concept of Physical movement in my Time Machine. It's just travelling through the past in your thoughts. U remember the bitter taste of DOSA u ate yesterday...it means that u travel back to the particular timeframe and can able to re-collect it. Like wise every human has his own past thought in collective or dispersed manner, somewhere inside the brain. if we can collect many persons memory then we can travel past a bit. the same holds good for future also. when it comes to future travel, it'll be just collective of thoughts, so it will be predictions based on wat the people think it would be....

KURUVI - scene copying...new trend introduced by Dr. Vijay SSLC

Just watch this and decide urself....

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5506448580053684953

My First Skit

This is my first skit as a story-screenplay-dialogue-direction-action-poster-popcorn...everything done by me along with assistance from colleagues. Go through it and say howzit ?????

The CAST goes this way:
M1 - myself
M2 - sadashiv(now in SAP)
M3 - Kalpana(now onsite)
and other Software Engineer characters involves: Shanm,Aswath,Vaibhav,Praveen, Namratha
Voices - Supriya,Indranil,Ram
Re-recording - Abhishek (the biggest flop of the show)
Story,Screenplay,dialogue,direction - me again (along with the crew)

The script is:


ONE DAY @ OFFICE !!!!


Scene 1 ::
SE thinks he is getting onsite oppurtunity!! Suddenly alarm rings, he gets up and realizes it was a dream.
Song : Subah ho gayi mamu! Meantime changes clothes and reaches office.

SE reaches office with friends and doing time pass! Background song ?????

Scene 2 ::
Manager arrives [Song : Undertaker ] and SE's start acting as if they are working until he reaches his cabin. After that they sneak out to the cafeteria.

Scene 3::
M1: oh god, its getting worse.
M2: What happened?
M1: I was fined at the gate, coz i came in white shirt black tie...it's monday and i m suppose to wear white shirt red tie , these guys are changing rules every then n there...
M3: yeah, the new rule came yesterday, u should have got the mail...
M1: uh, daily i m getting 5 fun mails, 10 escalations and 150 rules mails........!!!! forget...let me chk my mails....
M1: uh, its good...only 1 escalation !!!! in production...well, these guys deliver more defects every release and i have to fill those stupid trackers !!!!
M1: fine, now i have to meet them, let me implement "Mushroom Theory of Management" to sort this issue !!!
M2: whats that????
M1: Keep your staff in the dark and once a week feed them a load of b...-...t ?
M3: this guy started again (husky voice)
M1: call the production guy !!!

SE comes! [ Song: Jungle Jungle ]
Manager yells @ SE
At the end of song, the Manager says

M1: Either you fix the issue or get someone whom we can put the blame on!!

Scene 4::
M2: "Our satisfaction survey has gone down AGAIN and they have made me the anchor for correcting the same. So we need some guidelines in this regard ?"
M1: "Hmmmmmm let me think !"
M3: "I have a suggestion, employees are working hard and so we can organise a function say ORANGEEE 2007"
M1: " The name sounds familiar!!"
M2: " I have a better suggestion, lets do a re-org. Say lets combine the best and worst to do better!"
M1: " Hmmmmmm"
M1: "Eureka! Eureka! Lets combine our unit with UNIT B amd then have a function. Maybe we call it ORANGEEE 2007" Isnt it brilliant ?
[M2 and M3 looking at each other and slowly clap ]

Scene 5::
Appraisal
M3 : “What paramters define a good appraisal?”
M1: “So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation”
1. In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.
In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.
2. In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.
In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.
3. During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn’t meet the expectation, you don’t have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.
4. During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.
M2 and M3 are amazed and start clapping.

M2: "So lets discuss about the ERR ratings"
M3: "error rating ??"
M1: "hahahahaha not error man! E R R"
M3: "So what is the best practice ? "
M1: "Last time if you gave somebody 1 then give them 2 this time and vice versa."
"Also if someone is going onsite give him 2"
M1: "Simple when in doubt, You always have the golden rule"
M3: "What is the rule ?"
M2: "eena meena deeka"
M1: "Fool, our BMMI certified OSO 00 000 00 company. So we will be using Inky Pinky ponky....."

Scene 6::
SE is called. "May I come in sir?"
M2: "Yes yes come in boss!"
M2: "Boss we are sending u onsite!All the best"
SE goes.
M3: "So is he going USA"
M2: "No no, client location at Whitefield";
M3: "Sakkat thought maga!!!"

Scene 7::
Going home [Song: Chal chalein]
Manager is leaving and while going asks SE to send out status report to onsite!
SE was about to go but after hearing this is dissapointed and sits.
As soon as manager leaves, he packs his bag and leaves!!

KURUVI - acid test

(There will be lots of sarcasm in this post)

Saturday 2nd May, 2008, went for Kuruvi, first-day-show-symptom. It was a habit in college which continued to stay with me till now, but most of the time the experience has been pathetic. The same happened that day also, the so-called "next superstar" Ilaiyathalapathy Dr.Vijay's KURUVI......just hell !!!!!

Before entering such movies set your parameters clearly, 5 songs,3 fights, some stint of comedy, then bunch of punch dialogues. What more you can expect from Vijay, so my expectations was also limited to these params. but wat i saw was hell damn of a movie !!!!!!

At the start of the movie, there are quiet few "warning messages" regarding smoking,drinking and "dont try this in home" sort of things, they should have added one more slide "It's not too late, even now, you can leave the theatre".

The start of the movie was really good, showing the human slaves abdicated @ cudappah quarry and hero's father crying for his son to save the people. usual one, not too high build-up. but wat followed nex ten mins in the name of introduction was pathetic to the core !!!!

Car race, dont get confuse with F1..this is as local as Vijay :-) everyone are preparing for the race...vivek is in tension...hero has not yet arrived....then someone announce that race will begin in 5 mins...wooooossssssshh.....boossssssshhhh...disssssssssshhhhhhh( Hero entry). He comes out from manhole over a ditch, infact its a right place for him to come out of, then 2 mins punch dialogue abt the DITCH and work ethics(கருமம்டா !!!!). fine, leave this, then he rushes to race field in less than 2 mins and will be ready for the race. everyone will be ready with their car and Vijay will be with something that looks in between auto and mini lorry with a bike's bhp !!!! race starts , vijay will be leading with his so called car(in between few cars will be flying off the field, defying the gravity). At this point, as the director decided to add some comedy...i mean heroism to the scene, (ரூம் போட்டு யோசிப்பாங்களோ ), bumper, bonnet, doors, nut n screw will be flying away from Vijay's car by hitting with other cars. This is something viewable, but then, suddenly his accelerator pedal will be cut and wat happens next made even the core fan of vijay dumbstruck !!!! Vijay picks the accelerator cable and give throttle by holding it in his teeth (வீட்டுக்கு போயீ முதல mech engineering degree certificate தூக்கி குப்பைல போடணும் ) As usual he wins the race and wat next? any guesses????? yes the same....the intro song :-)

After the song, the movie directly enters the story with Vijay travelling to Malasia as "KURUVI" to get back the money from "KOCHA"( வில்லன் பேரு !!!!), that's our SUMAN. he got a "weight" character in this movie, yes, he looks fatter than in SIVAJI.Then fight @ malasia. Tamil people developped a strong belief that a hero can punch a guy and that guy will fly for abt 5-10 ft on all directions(law holds good for danush also), but in KURUVI, whenever Vijay punches someone, they will fall 2 streets far... TOO MUCH !!!!!

Then comes the Heroine introduction, possibly the dumbest girl ever found in recent tamil cinema. Believe, Trisha looks like எப்பிடி இருந்த நான் , இப்பிடி ஆய்ட்டேன் !!!! Pathetic,that too with that skinny costumes she looks like an AIDS patient (ஐயோ பாவம்).

Then Vijay snatches a diamond instead of money from "KOCHA" and then the whole KOCHA family with their LOCHA villains will come India to get the diamond back( இப்பவே கண்ணை கட்டுதே ), all this happens in first half of the movie, before interval there's a fight, which is epitome of stupidity, Vijay does some fights which scared the people in the theatre, i was too scared that someone will come out of the screen and fall at my feet !!!!!! At this point, people started wondering why they kept the name KURUVI for this movie, i hope director also got the same doubt , so he decided to clarify that with a scene...in which Vijay flies from top of a building to a railway track which is nearly 500 mt away from him diagnolly....he catches that train. so it means, VIJAY can fly like KURUVI, so is the name of the movie.(முடியல !!!!) INTERVAL !!!!

Then KOCHA snatches the diamond and put Vijay in a lift and drop him again in the ditch, as Vijay knows the ditch very well, he comes out of it on the other side( logic எல்லாம் கேக்க கூடாது ) then vows that he'll bring his father and the slaves back( அதாங்க first sceneல வந்தாங்களே )What happened for the next 1 hr in the name of rescue was like hell to watch and rest u all go to theatre and give ur try......

Regarding the aspects i expected from the movie:

Songs: except that happy new year song, nothing was qualified to hear, but then after watching trisha on screen...scrap that song also.

Fights: I believe villains will fly even if Vijay farts on them....too much

Dance: he started this new trend from Azhagiya Tamil Magan, to dance few steps which will make audience beleive that only Vijay can do this.

Comedy: third rated comedy with all possible double\triple meaning. but only one comedy was damn good, a person will refer to vijay n vivek and says " தன்மானத்தை விட்டு குடுப்பாங்க ஆனா BIRYANIய விட்டு கொடுக்க மாட்டாங்க "

Punch dialogues: OK, not too much.

a bit of Story: என்ன சின்னபுள்ளதனமா இருக்கு !!! Story in Vijay movie ?????

In total, if u want to get headache for 3 days atleast(this is my 3rd day and still it's paining) or you want to revenge any of your friends\foes , then this movie is for you !!!!! for all others, you can watch it for this diwali in Kalaignar TV....இந்திய தொலைக்காட்சிகளில் முதல் முறையாக......