Opis Komedies - Part 41: Company can never kill ur humour

After 2 years i spoke to one of my ex-colleague.

Me: so dude, whatsup ? howz germany
Kamlesh: yeah man, its going fine, how about you ? Still in
Me: yeah, the same comp...
Kamlesh: bhai, heard that they gave hike this time...how much?????
Me: pretty high, i booked my ferrari last week
Kamlesh: (laughing out of his heart) bhai, company can never kill your sense of humour !!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 40: Kya bath hein ?

(A long break from Opis Komedies, actually, now lots of opportunities around as shanm returned, shrikanth\raghu joined the gang and one and only karthi in full form !!!!

So will try to capture all....)

Since two days, Shrikanth was trying to learn hindi and most of the times it turns out to be some gibberish !!!!

Shrikanth and Shanm were trying to speak in hindi today.

Me: (to Shrikanth) Idhar aao, hum hindi mein baath kartha hoon
Shanm: (suddenly getting up) Kya baath hein ?
Shrikanth: ennadu, kaalaila kulikaliya ? (havent "bath"ed today ?)

Shanm donno what to say :D


I told this to Ram and he came up with one more piece: Couple of his friends trying to impress some hindi speaking girls:

M1: Kya baath hein ?
M2: (with full frustration) hmmm, bisibelabaath hein !!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 39: I need half

This happened sometime back. Me, Karthi, Shanm and my roomies went for a treat for shanm's onsite trip.

We had some beers and i paid as shanm was not ready to pay for this xtra stuff. Finally when dinner was over, we all came out...then:

Shanm: Srini, tell me how much u spent on drinks.
Me: 400
Shanm: ok, take this (and he handed over 400 to me)
Karthi: (walking in X from far behind, said loudly) Hey, i also had half of the drinks, so give me half of the money !!!!

Well, i donno wat to say, but i'm sure he's pretty confident that he's right and we all burst into laughter !!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 38: is that urs ????????

Bishwa came to my cubicle, the girl sitting behind me brought a big fat JAVA book...seeing that lying on the table...

Bishwa: Please dont tell me that by any chance it's ur book...

i turned back and felt the bulb in my face...he left with big laugh...MORON !!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 37: Harsha Bhogle

Happened today....

Me, Arun and Dinesh were talking about world cup T20, the best attraction of T20 as of now is Harsha Bhogle, for very obvious reasons :)

So i started topic on him:

Me: Dei, u saw Harsha Bhogle ?
Arun: no, is it new Hindi movie ?
Me n Dinesh: grrrrrrrrrrrrrr


PS: oooops, after 4 months , back with opis komedies :)

Opis Komedies - Part 36: Why ? Why ? I donno why? It always happens to my!!!!!!

Two days back, there was a meeting in my company. The meeting was in VC (video conferencing) and so all around the globe it was connected. We have state of the art technology conference room.

The meeting was about some quarterly updates and i was dragged to the meeting as it's not having enough strength. I tried my level best to listen what they are trying to convey and seriously it didnt made any sense to me.

After 15 mins the monkey in me started peeping out, there was a mike in front of me with a switch. It's provided to ask questions if you have any. It was so tempting and i pressed it. It switched on, i was delighted and i was doing mike testing in it by tapping the mike. It was making some minute tap sound, with full delight i then switched it off. Then i looked up and to my shock the camera was focused on me and i'm visible thourgh out the world !!!!!!!!

OH NOOOOOOOOOo, it was too embarrassing and i can see people started laughing after seeing my reaction, then i donno what to do, so i was trying to avoid the camera by moving side, to my dismay there's no way i can move anywhere, i tried for ten mins and atlast i got up from the seat and sat on floor...the whole hall burst out of laughing !!!!!!!!!!

My Unit Head "You should never turn this guy mad !!!!!"...for the next 1 hr of meeting i was sitting on the floor !!!!!!!!!!

PS: i didnt knew that mike was connected with the camera !!!!
PPS: u want to know how the camera went off then, well, it was my PM who pressed the button accidentally and it started focusing him....
PPPS: Me, great escape !!!!!!!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 35: Dark knight !!!!

Pantry Area. Me, Shanm, Sunil and Karc were having Tea. The conversation went like this.

Me: Today, i'll go Forum n buy "The Dark Knight" original DVD...long waiting for that !!!!

Karc: (confident of pulling my legs) u saw the movie already right, then why do u want to buy it ? (ha ha ha ha ha)

Me: actually, see, there are some good movies we want to own it in DVD, say for you, you would love to buy original DVDs of Kuruvi, Aathi, Thiruvanamalai...its like that only. 

Now me n sunil were laughing at Karc and he as usual giving his sheepish grin to hide his defeat...in the whole process Shanm was thinking seriously and finally...

Shanm: so u r going to buy "Karuppu Iravu"

Me: what, that sounds like some porn movie !!!!

Shanm: no no, i just translated Dark Knight to tamil....

Me: ada paavi...thats not "night"...it's "Knight" !!!!

now except shanm everybody were laughing !!!!!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 34: Ghajini...RAM...ROM !!!

Shanm and Sunil were discussing about GHAJINI.

Shanm: he'll forget everything in 15 mins....
Sunil: oh...so he got only RAM !!!!!
Shanm: but he remembers basic things like brushing, bathing and driving...
Sunil: oh...he got ROM also......but NO HARD DISC !!!!

First time ever shanm shut his mouth for someone Else's outrageous comments...normally, shanm gives these comments and we get irritated !!!!!!!! on that day, it happened the other way around........good one Sunil !!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 33: Cricket Quiz

Suraj, my old friend (he's not old, i knew him for more than 12 years ;) ), working in my company and came to bangalore for short term project. He asked me today to accompany him in a cricket quiz. I love cricket though i m not good with statistics...despite, i went with him. He was over-enthu and all set to crack any questions....

We entered that 100 seater capacity hall, 2 per team, so virtually 50 teams on race. First, prelims, the questions were displayed on the screen and we have to write down the answer. I went with no expectations, so i was very calm n serene...Sooraj was very interested and his face changed after 2 questions...After couple more he was perplexed and agitated.

I thought i'll add more oil to the fire.

Me: dei vennai, u called me telling that we'll rock and all...and now u r looking like shit !!!!
Sooraj: (with a defeated expression) dei, i started watching cricket from 1995...but they are asking questions even before world war I....wat'll i do ?????
Me: (burst out of laughter)

PS: we managed to get 8 out of 29
PPS: there was a guy sitting in front of us and for each questions he was giving victorious gestures and demotivating sooraj
PPPS: he scored 7 out of 29...sooraj was the happiest person at that moment !!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 32: Why Blood...same Blood !!!!

In Dark Knight, Joker says this "he he he ha ha ha ho ho ho...i thought only my jokes were bad"...i rephrased and said "he he he he...i thought only i'm stupid !!!!"

This is the continuation of the breaking-Glass-with-hand-incident. There's a guy called Vinay in other project. He came today with big bandage in his shoulders. I asked him what happened and he said on the day of drill, he was scared and he hit against the wall and shoulder cuffs dis-located !!!!!!!!!

Well, then only i told the above dialogue !!!!!

Get well soon Vinay...

PS: best part is that jiristi was coming behind him
PPS: thank god, she didnt stamped on him !!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 31: A small act of bravery ends as a mockery !!!!!

11:00 AM. The fire alarm was set on and Disaster Recovery Representatives from all floors were alerted to empty the building. It was so scary situation that house keeping guys\securities were rushing and making people run like hell. Everybody were rushing towards the EMERGENCY EXIT. I'm one of the DRR in my floor and my job is to ensure safety for a process area...close to 60 peoples. All the people are rushing towards exit. Our Floor is of restricted access and all the emergency doors are closed and the key was kept in a glass box fit to the wall with a small metal hammer. During emergency take the hammer , break the glass, take the key and open the door. Ironically, hammer was not there......without any second thoughts my action was just instantaneous and i punched the glass box...it opened, took the key and gave it to someone to open the door, then only i realised that my hand was bleeding !!!!!Blood on the floor and still i managed to take out all the people and ensured protocol and came out of the building last...

Then only i came to know that it was a surprise mock drill !!!!!!!! When i heard that i was like almost fainted...ada paavigala...they could have intimated atleast the DRRs in prior !!!!!!

finally when everything got over...there was mixed reaction from people...half of the crowd appreciating and rest half was mocking !!!!!

it was just one hell of experience....finally i heard this comment:

Security 1: so any causalities ????
Security 2: all 18000 people came out safe...only one person got his hand hurt in trying to open the emergency exit !!!!!

PS: SuperStar birthday anniku super a oru stunt adicha...kadaisila vadivelu range la kondu poitingaleda !!!!!!!!
PPS: vidra vidra sooona paana....apidiye maintain paniko !!!!!
PPPS: true...EKSI !!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 30: Password

This happened couple of times during internal certifications. There'll be a DEN where we have to give our certification and that place just beat the hell out of me always. If the certification i have to give is related to Technical, then i'm done. I'll be looking like a big guy sitting with constipation credited with piles !!!!!

A lady lab attendant will be there, she's there for the past 2.5 years. A short, dark, fat, sodaputti (spects) lady and she always give nightmares to candidates. The chances of peeping to other system or using any other mode of communication to other world will be easily deducted by her. As she's so short she can just walk in between cubicles without getting noticed. She's mom of all funny dialogues. The Best one from her is:

She used to give passwords for logging into the exam portal, sometimes if she gives us the wrong password, she used to say(shout):

"If the given password is not working then i'll give you one more password, use it"

Wondered many times that my company developed an application with more than one password for single webpage or is this lady trying to conceal her mistake that she gave the wrong password !!!!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 29: Sound service

Riyas gave us treat today. After the treat we were walking towards our office. Riyas bought a new Sony Mobile and he showed it to us. then:

Karc: enna model ithu ?
Riyas: W800i....
Karc: sony phone la sound service nalla irukkum !!!!
Shanm: sound uuu service aaaa ????? aamam, avaniapuram murugan sound service la irundu eduthathu...nalla irukkum... apidiye mike set pathium visaringa !!!!!
Karc: (sheepish smile as usual)

Others burst out of laughter !!!!!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 28: Card eduthaacha ?

Riyas gave us treat today. Me, shanm, karc and Riyas had a good lunch at Pallavi Grand. This happened there; after lunch, Riyas paid and the waiter gave him pen and slip to sign. After signing he gave the slip back and kept the card inside:

Me: Riyas, card eduthaacha ????? chk pannidunga !!!!
Riyas: (in lollu sabha manohar style) naangellam velaila suthama iruppom !!!!
Waiter: Sir, Pen thirupi kudukuringala ??????

Riyas was stumbled for a sec and we burst out of laughter !!!!!

PS: if u dont smile for this...then there's some flaw in my writing style !!!!
PPS: believe me, it's too hilarious and the timing was perfect !!!!
PPPS: ivlo sollitene, atleast idukaagavaachum siringa pa pls !!!!!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 27: Thank god !!!!!!!!

One more Quarterly townhall meeting and i organized the fun events(as usual).

Our IBU head came at the end of the meeting and he was delivering an inspiring speech about the present trend and how my company is taking steps and how each and every person has to react for this situation. It was really inspiring...and this happened next:

IBU HEAD: we have seen such situations earlier also, in 2001...(turning towards me) srini, were u there at that time ?
Me: (a big) NO !!!!
IBU HEAD: thank god, that's why we survived !!!!

The whole hall burst out of laughter and i really donno what to say !!!!!

Two things I can take from it:
1) it was just for fun !!!!
2) even he knows me !!!!

PS: he he he he he !!!!
PPS: whatever situation maybe, i take only the positive outcomes !!!!!
PPPS: srini thathuvam solraaanpa, note pannungappa!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 26: What to tell machine ????

Arun was booking ticket for PVR in pulaas system. From their conversation anyone can easily makeout that they're first timers :) atlast, after little struggle they managed to book tickets(actually, they were using my ID to book tickets). After the booking got over i just logged out from the site:

Arun: dei, i want to take the prinout of it da...then only i'll get ticket
Me: (with full kaduppu) not required, there's a kiosk, u can get it from there.
Pulaas: hey, i wanted to ask..what you will tell to that Kiosk machine ?
Me: (with more kaduppu) hmmm...go infront of the machine, say "anda ka kasam...abu ka kusum...ticket kudu seesey"

Needless to say, in a blink of second she started chasing me and i somewhat managed to escape with little damage!!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 25: My calendar !!!!

Couple of weeks back, my day was completely filled with meetings. Almost all the day I’m filled with meetings but this is a special one , coz i didn’t even find time for lunch !!!!

so i just took a screen shot of my calendar and send it across to my small elite group of friends, who firmly believe that i am not working at all. This group of people includes Ashwath, sunil, shanm, bishwa, shristi and kochu.

Well, if we start a mail chain, it goes for hours with all types of comments for which atlast you will feel like ending ur life at that instance. This elite group has enormous sense of humour with utmost sarcastic touch.

On that day also, the moment i send my screen shot i got 6 replies in 8 mins. At that time, Kochu passed my cubicle and i asked her:

Me: Hey Kochu, u saw the new mail chain ???
Kochu: haven't, will chk now !!!

After sometime,

Kochu: i didnt get any mails !!!
Me: (wondering !!!) what ???

the next sec, i got call from Ashwath:

Ashwath: Machaanz, why is the onsite PM is there in the mailer list ?????
me: WHAT !!!!!

Heart almost bounced out of my mouth !!!! the reasons are:

1) I mixed up the mail id of Kochu with that onsite PM
2) she's a lady PM in onsite
3) The worst part is, she's the one who asked me for updates and in turn i arranged all those meeting !!!!!

That was one of the most embarrassing moment in my career...i pinged her and apologised.She's generous enough to give a smile and push this topic behind woods !!!!

PS: this post is dedicated to Kochu !!!
PPS: past 2 weeks i m trying to avoid to pen this incident...finally kochu almost threatened me to write this !!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 24: sunday cricket match !!!

Sunday 23rd Nov, 2008. 00:00 hrs

I got an SMS from Ashwath like this:

Hey i got 15 tickets to da cricket match in bangalore this sunday. Shall we go ?

I saw this message in the morning and i was trying his number couple of times. Finally 9:30 am he called me. I asked him about the tickets and cost, he said it's given at the end of the sms and asked me to check it myself.

Immediately i opened the message again and checked. It was:

if you get dis kind of msg plz take me also to match :)

DAMN UR PJ !!!! actually he's a localite and we dont have any grounds to doubt the authenticity of the message !!!! but anyways, he made bhakra out of us !!!!!

PS: i gave him back with filled-water-bottle
PPS: few guys called at midnight to confirm the ticket !!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 23: How was CAT ??????

There is a guy in our project. An intelligent guy but often fails to conceal his activities. He's a CAT aspirant and he was preparing hard. As i personally gave CAT and failed i have that mutual sympathy for this guy. One day i asked him about his preparation and i got a very ferocious reply that he's not preparing for CAT and he's only helping his friend in his\her preparation. (That’s the stupidest answer I ever heard )

Well, i wondered how in the world a person can help others by just sitting in his place and solving all mock CAT questions of his own?? Are they connected through telepathy ???

The CAT got over last week and half the population whining about the brutality exhibited by the IIM in setting the question papers and other half much relieved and started their regular work. I saw this guy today and asked him:

ME: so man, how was CAT ?
HE: I didn’t gave it man !!!!
ME: (adango....abusing in mind voice) yeah i know man, i was about to ask how your friend whom you helped in preparation gave CAT ????
HE: (sheepish smile...another failure act to conceal his defeat) i didnt ask him man !!!
ME: (dei, veri yethaatha...abusing again) That's unfair man, you should have asked your friend about that...heard that it was pathetic !!!!
HE: (didn’t reply and just sat back)

in this whole process, Ashwath was trying very hard to cover his laughter !!!!!

I'm Lovin it !!!!!!!!!

Opis Komedies - Part 22: Onsite ??????

Yesterday night, around 7:00, me , ashwath, shanm and sunil were in office and chit-chatting....suddenly we heard a bunch of peoples losing their control and greeting a person few cubicles away from ours. It was like some birthday bash and everone's hugging him and congratulating him....

Ashwath: hey, what's happening there machaanz ???
Shanm: I think someone's going onsite man!!!
Me:(in bit loud voice) what ???? someone's going ONSITE....That's RARE SIGHT then!!!!

including PM n SPM everyone were in splits for few minutes !!!!

PS: Bruce(PM) asked me after few mins "where do u get all this man ????"